As we continue on with May’s theme of emotion, it’s time to talk about happiness. We all strive to be happy. Who wouldn’t want to be happy all the time? As we all know, we can’t be happy all the time and that is okay. If we were happy all the time, life would be boring and we wouldn’t experience the greatness of happiness when something great really comes along.
Happiness is something we all chase but many of us look for happiness in the wrong places. While it is true that new people, new things and new experiences bring happiness, it does not bring lifelong fulfillment or long-term happiness. If you have ever bought something new (like a car), you know how exciting it is during the first few days. But eventually that new wears off, along with the happiness, and we’re looking for a new car just a few years later. This is what happens when we rely on outside factors to make us happy.
Dr. Bob explains that the key to lasting happiness is to truly, deeply, know ourselves. The golden circle helps explain the ways we should understand ourselves. On the outermost circle is the “what” question. What is your life all about? What choices are you making? What do you believe in? Then, there is the “how” circle. How are you going to accomplish things? And then most importantly, there is why “why” Why am I here? Why do I do the things I do?
Once you have clarity on all of these questions, you develop a deeper understanding of yourself and are able to identify challenges and determine the best way to overcome them. Once all of this is understood, it becomes easier to find joy and express it. Many times it takes experimentation to find your why. You may have to move somewhere new, meet new people and experience new things but once the why is figured out, you can live your true self and have joy.
Going after happiness does not bring long term joy. What DOES bring long term joy is coming to know ourselves and once we live as our true selves, we can unlock long-term happiness and fulfillment.
Understanding ourselves can also help us with relationships. Many times when a relationship ends, we feel as though we lost something or lost love. What people don’t see though is all that love is still within us, we just need to direct it to ourselves. When we love our true selves, we don’t depend on the love from other people because we love ourselves enough to still be joyful on our own.
Everyone has built-in success – there is a power within you that guides you even when you don’t know it. There is a wisdom within us that is not separate in us but is a guiding truth of who we are and that is what we trust – not something outside of us. Remind yourself that you are wonderful and so am I and so it is.
Join us next week as we discuss another emotion, anger, and how to stay calm during the toughest times. We’ll be live on Facebook Sunday, May 22